thoughts ungathered

wrap me in the dark velvet of the night

alone out under the sky, free and wildly still

wandering among the billion glittering lights above

breathe in the absence of air and live for millennia

pierce perelandra’s mysterious shroud

walk with sorns and play with hrossa

dive into the blazing center and burn in ecstasy

watch the baby comets chase their tails like puppy dogs

if i fall back down to earth gently fold my blanket up

here is my hand — do you want to hold it?

i’m not sure what letting you would mean

have i turned my boundaries into walls?

that’s not what they were meant to be

fingers entwined — your fingers and mine

is that improbable or merely impossible?

such a small thing, a hand, yet so big

like my questions with no answers in sight

nothing there

nothing there

nothing

nothing anywhere

nothing there

nothing there

nothing

nothing anywhere

anywhere

anywhere

nothing

nothing

no –

i feel like a heart lies in the palm of my hand

and i’m slowly squeezing, crushing life

is that true?

is it you?

i’ll break my heart in a million pieces and mail them to you to see that it’s possible for me to shatter does it matter now i don’t know how you felt but i remember all the thoughts i had and they frightened me concrete manifestations are different from the voices in the ether have you heard the planets sing have you heard the stars shining there is logic and there is emotion i cannot abandon reason for imagination lying is unacceptable on every level so this is honesty, this is truth but i can’t say everything because words will wound no matter how gentle my intentions keep dreaming i’ll be there playing croquet with pink flamingos keep searching i’ll be up in the tree grinning ’til i split maybe one day you’ll find me to be other than i am but some things i’ll never —

the british hung nathan hale from a tree

and let him swing, crying treason

treason to the crown and to the king!

the americans hung benedict arnold

in disgrace, crying treason, treason

let us forget the traitor’s face

i have not commited crimes against

my country or my King, but against you

i stand guilty but in innocence

for i never meant to cause but only to

prevent hurt — and look where i swing

between heaven and earth, wondering

if the tree will ever let me down again

since the city fathers deigned to outlaw fireworks

on the fourth of july (or any time at all)

we have taken to going relative-hunting

and so we tramped through the woods

looking for three stones on the edge of a

golf course, crashing through the undergrowth

weeds and trees in our quest for origins

when we came upon the monuments we

laid flowers down in front, trying to read

the now-weathered carvings telling names

and births and deaths.  this is the way of

littlepeace, we said, to always go on an

adventure that others would find absurb

illogical or morbid, but which we find

delightful.  and so it is, and so i love

cemetaries and honouring the dead of

ages past.  it is not a pasttime macabre

by any means, but one that ties me to

times and people past.  the only part i

did not care to repeat was finding deer

ticks embedded in my flesh afterward.

to honour one’s ancestors, however, one

must be willing to risk personal comforts

in the name of tradition and adventure

algernon:  i love you madly, passionately, devotedly — hopelessly!

                                 — oscar wilde, the importance of being earnest

my dear, i agree with wilde’s sweet cecily

that hopelessly is rather not the right word

shall i be like othello, loving not wisely but

too well?  or like the duke of orsino, so sick

of olivia’s rejections that he desired excess

of melody in order to kill the thing, his love?

high literature and music hold scores of

star-crossed lovers up for public adoration –

but ill-fated tragedy is not my style.  on the

day you take my hands for eternity, kissing

my fingers with the glittering, infinite band,

my heart shall at last sing its song for you:

i love you wisely and also well — sanely,

passionately, devotedly, hopefully, my love

growing with each note of harmony swelling

in my heart, the reasons for loving you more

inexplicable and mysterious than the stars

this is not a question of giving back double

what i was given and then separating at trouble

but instead a union so complete as to make

removal or dissolution impossible beyond death

this is how i will love you, not in the words of

the greatest poets and playwrights our world has

known, but in simple, straightforward truths.

let’s pretend that didn’t happen

or better yet — pretend we never met

start all over again

with a handshake and a how do you do

making it the case

that there’s nothing not to understand

i can forget if i feel like it

but your face came to mind’s eye today

and i had to think again

tell me you can let go and smile

and i won’t worry anymore

the rain will be mine again

tell me you can live beyond the past

outside the walls and over the hill

i can’t be more than i am

so let’s forget whatever i was thinking

and just be what we were before

people with a lot or little in common

cage-free, claim free

hair the colour of a summer-fired sky

eyes green as cat’s from wondering why

temper like a whirlwind

cheeks a freckled constellation

that was alabama in his imagination

never false, always free

questioning his answers for eternity

found by pure serendipity

alabama in reality